Overcoming OCD: I am a project with a capitol “P”

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Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.” Lord Chesterfield

Who is this Lord Chesterfield dude and why is he in my head? I found a lot of his quotes are adages I grew up on. Most of them about working hard toward a goal. Which is a good thing. Most of the time.

Everyone close to me knows that I am obsessive-compulsive. The people living in this house with me have all seen it in action. Believe you me, it is not a pretty sight.

This is how it looks:

1. I get an idea. It can be get healthy, get organized, have a party, get closer to Jesus, make more/any money, redecorate, etc.

2. Go crazy trying to achieve my perfect ideal.

3. Try to get everyone around involved in my craziness.

4. Get exhausted, and go to my knees; finally, asking God how I got in this ridiculous situation. Then humbly ask Him to help me.

It starts out good. Then it goes from good to not good enough to I need to work harder at this. Then I recognize I have driven myself crazy and my family is suffering. Too often, that is where I stop to pray, not at step one.

Last week in my post “Am I Good Enough” I said it is a relief to know I can run to my Heavenly Father as the prodigal son ran to his father. Yesterday morning I did just that.

I was on my knees praying the prayer that never fails (Thy Will be Done). One by one I prayed for everyone on my prayer list and said those 4 words after their names. It was the first day of school. It had a arrived. Even though I did not feel ready, after my morning time with the Lord in prayer and Bible reading, I was prepared.

Today I saw these pictures:

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These are 7 of my precious grandchildren. Their mamas teach them at home. I taught their mamas in our home. It is only 19 years since we began this journey.  I can already see what valuable fruit our labors have reaped.

We have started out every day in prayer. God is so faithful. I am so glad to be His. A project, uncompleted, crazy with OCD, but one of His children through faith in Jesus Christ.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

 

 

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