Like every good Christian, American, and Facebook follower, for that matter, I have been trying to be thankful this month.
This morning, I realized that for me, thankfulness is not so much the issue as contentment. Being content with the circumstances that God has placed me in is a daily struggle.
I love being Todd’s wife, my children’s mother, my grandchildren’s gramma. Being a full time homemaker and homeschool mom is a great blessing. But in the daily grind there is much I complain about.
Last year I had a post about giving up my nursing license. You can read it here: What does “niggardly” mean? Dumb title, sorry, about that.
I still struggle with the issues I wrote about over a year ago. This is part of what I said: “When I fail to surrender part of my life to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, when I want to control because it is scary to yield, I am keeping an idol in my heart.” One of the idol’s of my heart is wanting more money than God has provided for us.
Every summer, when I have extra time on my hands I start to get antsy and try to think of ways that I can bring in extra money, get a job, or even volunteer. I usually entertain these thoughts for days, even weeks before talking them over with Todd. He is always the voice of reason and quickly tells me my hands are full. These desires are often the result of my lack of trust in God providing for all our needs through Todd’s job alone.
It has been over 21 years since I have left the nursing field. I have had other short-lived part time jobs, but not any at all for the last 9 years. If you do the math, you will see it has been since before Henry was born. Wouldn’t you think I would be grateful to be able to stay home? content even?
There is still that part of me that wants to contribute. There is also part of me that wants to be out in the world feeling fulfilled personally. It is an idol of my heart. It is the desire to have more than, or different from, what God has planned for me.
The Bible speaks often about contentment. We are all familiar with 1 Timothy 6:6 “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”
Just now I read this verse in 2 Kings 14:10 “Be content with your glory, and stay at home, for why should you provoke trouble?” Granted I took it out of context. It is written about a battle between the King of Israel and the King of Judah and the trouble you can imagine that brought about.
But do you see how I need to apply that verse to my circumstances? It is a glorious privilege I have been given to serve my family in this way. It would surely provoke trouble if I were to divide my time and seek a job. I need to be content.
So my goal for the rest of this month, when we normally emphasize thankfulness, is to go beyond giving thanks to becoming content in whatever situation I find myself day by day.